Seven answers on 7Q (also known as the FAQs of life.)				Interviewed by Tom Mangan Mike Jasper thinks he's pretty damn funny. And he is.		AUTHORS Michael Fuchs Elizabeth Hilts Paul Riddell Gary Rivlin Jim Motavalli Barbara Shafferman Jules Siegel Keith Snyder ARTISTS/POETS/ PHILOSOPHERS Jon C. Allen Will Baker Mike Leung Jon Sarkin COOL SITE KEEPERS Mike Cash Scott O'Neal Colf Godfrey Daniels Cliff Davis, DDS Tammy Hocking Wes Modes Frank Rogan DIARISTS Ralph Becker J. D. Bruns Linda DeVault Mike Reed Moira Richardson Jessamyn West FILMMAKERS Ben Kufrin Dean Mermell JOURNALISTS Bernie Mary Cooley-Jones Lindsay Crysler Jamie Dupree M.O.A.T.M.A.I. David Moll Robert Niles John Orr Steven Ovadia Pierce Presley Mack Reed Rip Rense Curtis Ross Neal Ross John Scalzi Catherine Seipp David Sheets Dwight Silverman Matt Welch MOVIE MAVENS MaryAnn Johanson Brian Koller HUMORISTS Debbie Farmer Mike Jasper Madeleine Begun Kane Patrick Keller Bob Sassone Valerie Sprague Ken Swarmer Ian Wolff SOLDIERS Maj. Jon Anderson, USAF TEACHERS John Warner TECHIES Chris Adamson Mike Gunderloy Michael Ivey Greg Knauss Floyd Maxwell Ellen McDonough Mike Pingleton Wayne Thume John Worth TEENS Gary Baum Marty Beckerman UNDECLARED Bev Gibbs Beth Reid WEBLOGGERS Jason Kottke Jish Mukerji
ONE				You grew up in the San Francisco Bay area. Tell us something you've had to give up since moving to Texas. I gave up watching the 49ers and Giants play at Candlestick Park, Irish coffees at the Buena Vista bar, cruises on the San Francisco Bay, five star dinners in Sausalito, single malt Scotch with Big Billy D. at the Edinburgh Castle and all-night parties at the Phoenix Hotel. But mainly, I gave up sex with men.
TWO				Anything about Austin that makes it preferable to the Bay Area? Austin's cheap! Rents, restaurant bills, gasoline - everything's less expensive here than the Bay Area. The traffic's much better and it's still fairly easy to find a parking space. A free parking space, at that. Here's the best part about Austin: Any day of the week, you can find something to do. Just walk down Sixth Street at night, even Tuesday night, and I guarantee there will be at least seven clubs with live music playing. I hate to admit it, but the nightlife in Austin is much more happening than in San Francisco. Unless you're an opera fan.
THREE				What was the scare that brought you closest to the brink of giving up drinking? Waking up in bed with Hugh Grant gave me pause. When I lived in Sebastopol, California and worked at the Times & News as a reporter during the late 80s, some local cop got it in his head that I had a drinking problem. Dennis, his name was. So I'd go to Jasper O'Farrell's (no relation) for a beer, and Dennis would appear behind me, armed and in full uniform, and whisper in my ear, "Don't you think you should quit drinking?" Ruined my nights for awhile. Fortunately, I figured out a simple solution to the problem. I moved to Texas.
FOUR				What bar in Austin should be avoided by anyone with a lick of sense? Lovejoy's. They offer $2 pint specials, every night, the people are friendly, the beer's cold and the women are hot. A killer jukebox blares everything from Hank Williams to Days of the New, and a closed-caption TV is always on so you can keep your eye on the game. The owner, Chip Tait, is a hopeless romantic who lacks any shred of human dignity. That is, he's a Redskins fan. It gets worse. He's an Orioles fan too. Some might think Lovejoy's sounds like a great bar, but you have to read between the lines. First, because of the prices, you're likely to stay until closing. Second, now that they serve liquor by the drink, you're likely to be drunk by closing. But most of all, if you go to Lovejoy's you'll probably wind up drinking with me. Not good.
FIVE				What's the smartest thing you ever did under the influence of banned substances? I wrote "Stairway To Heaven." Or so I thought. Frankly, I doubt I've ever done anything smart behind banned substances. But I've written many songs, stories and columns the next day after coming down. Even with my old rock band (called John Cougar Rabinowitz, by the way), I never allowed myself to perform drunk or stoned. Maybe I should have, but I didn't. I don't even allow myself to smoke a cigarette on stage, because I want to remain focused on the music. Of course, that means I can only do 15-minute sets. I did write one of my best songs, "Ten Years From Now," after great sex with a woman called Selene. She's not a banned substance, but some of the things she did to me are illegal in many Southern states. Anyone curious to hear "Ten Years From Now" can download the MP3 at http://www.mp3.com/mikejasper. That's a plug, I guess, but it's a free download.
SIX				What would you tell the next generation of teenagers thinking of starting their own bands and becoming rock stars? You're late. You're real, real late. Get out while you can. Do hip hop instead, or invent a new kind of music. Unless, of course, you're Hispanic. In that case, rock on, 'cause the Latino movement is going to be huge. Ricky Martin is just the Pat Boone of the trend. Bigger and better stuff is on the way. Still, rock bands exist for only three reasons - sex, money and fame. And I'm here to tell you, one out of three ain't bad.
SEVEN				Tell us about someone you know who is obscure but deserves to be famous. Norman Greenbaum. He had a moment of fame in the late '70s with his song "Sprit In The Sky," but even though the song's still a monster, Norman remains largely unknown. I don't think he cares, though. He's making more money from the song today than he did when it first hit the airwaves, thanks to the film industry. Pretty much any movie with an outer space theme will probably include "Spirit In The Sky" on the sound track. You can find Norman and his song at http://www.spiritinthesky.com. Whitney Ayers also should be famous, for his inventive online comic strip, "Crikey Kid Snoop." You can find his quirky Flash animations at http://www.crikeykidsnoop.com. All of The Net Wits should be famous some day. The Net Wits include some of the finest humor writers on the Internet and me. We've got a mailing list, a Web site, tee shirts and a stated goal of world domination by the year 2002. You can find The Net Wits at http://www.thenetwits.com. And you, Tom. You should be famous. At least more famous than you are now.
				THE BIG INDEX... Who they are, what they do, how they think. Go there now. A TO Z ARCHIVE... Everybody here, with quickie bios. Go there now. Return to the main Seven Questions page See the original Newsies 7Q project Contact info@sevenquestions.com Copyright 1999-2002, Thomas L. Mangan