SevenQuestions: Mary Cooley-Jones

Seven answers on 7Q (also known as the FAQs of life.)
Interviewed by Tom Mangan

Mary Cooley-Jones, sat next to me at my last job (and suffered my halting attempts to be her "mentor" without reaching down my throat and ripping my lungs out, which is what she really wanted to do.)

She designs pages and edits copy at the Peoria Journal Star

AUTHORS

Michael Fuchs
Elizabeth Hilts
Paul Riddell
Gary Rivlin
Jim Motavalli
Barbara Shafferman
Jules Siegel
Keith Snyder

ARTISTS/POETS/
PHILOSOPHERS

Jon C. Allen
Will Baker
Mike Leung
Jon Sarkin

COOL SITE KEEPERS

Mike Cash
Scott O'Neal Colf
Godfrey Daniels
Cliff Davis, DDS
Tammy Hocking
Wes Modes
Frank Rogan

DIARISTS

Ralph Becker
J. D. Bruns
Linda DeVault
Mike Reed
Moira Richardson
Jessamyn West

FILMMAKERS

Ben Kufrin
Dean Mermell

JOURNALISTS

Bernie
Mary Cooley-Jones
Lindsay Crysler
Jamie Dupree
M.O.A.T.M.A.I.
David Moll
Robert Niles
John Orr
Steven Ovadia
Pierce Presley
Mack Reed
Rip Rense
Curtis Ross
Neal Ross
John Scalzi
Catherine Seipp
David Sheets
Dwight Silverman
Matt Welch

MOVIE MAVENS

MaryAnn Johanson
Brian Koller

HUMORISTS

Debbie Farmer
Mike Jasper
Madeleine Begun Kane
Patrick Keller
Bob Sassone
Valerie Sprague
Ken Swarmer
Ian Wolff

SOLDIERS

Maj. Jon Anderson, USAF

TEACHERS

John Warner

TECHIES

Chris Adamson
Mike Gunderloy
Michael Ivey
Greg Knauss
Floyd Maxwell
Ellen McDonough
Mike Pingleton
Wayne Thume
John Worth

TEENS

Gary Baum
Marty Beckerman

UNDECLARED

Bev Gibbs
Beth Reid

WEBLOGGERS

Jason Kottke
Jish Mukerji

ONE
At what point while tagging along with your hubby on his assistant football coaching duties did you discover you were starting to enjoy it?

I’ve loved football since I was 12 -- years before I met whatshisname. Something about hitting without hurting appealed to me.

I realized at his first game that it is the one time I can really watch Bob work. You can talk about jobs and co-workers until you’re blue in the face, but I really get to watch -- how many spouses can say that?

The cool part is you see real improvement during the course of a season, especially at the freshman level. You actually watch this group of strangers come together: the starters, the injured, the water kid and the coaches all merge into this one team.

Yes, I am aware of how hokey that reads. Don’t believe me? Go support your local high school freshman football team for a season and see for yourself. Most games are free, but bring your own rain gear.

And besides all that -- It’s fun being married to a coach. I get all the juicy information -- like who is busting his butt in practice but still runs scared during the games, why kids’ positions really are switched and why the head coach gets so pissed during a good play. (Usually because of some bonehead move a kid did that could have hurt someone.)

TWO
What should any visitor to St. Louis avoid at all cost?

If you take 270 you can circle around the whole thing. That's what I recommend, having seen everything way too many times. But if you get sucked in, go to the Magic House, and don’t skip the slide.

THREE

Tell us about your encounter with Clint Eastwood.

I secretly thought actors who played intimidating characters were really warm, fuzzy teddy bears at heart. Very tall, very gruff, Mr. Eastwood SIR(!) isn’t, as I found out on the set (OK, street) of “Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil.”

ME: Um, do you have a minute?

HIM (with that cold stare): What for!

But now I have Clint Eastwood’s autograph on floral bunny stationery. And if you look very closely at the opening scenes, you could see where I would have been had they not cut my scene. Bastards.

(For the record, Eastwood uses the same sound guys for every movie, and they think he’s a swell director. Willie and whatshisname were very nice to us pesky extras, and we all had a great time. But I’m now scared of The Big Guy.)

FOUR
What was it about Savannah that sticks in your memory and makes you want to go back?

That’s easy: Our first encounter with a real, live Savannahian.

We drove into the city with no more than a map, a quarter-tank of gas and a vague idea that perhaps we should find the visitors' center for help in locating an apartment.

Well, we made a wrong turn on that drizzly day into a not-so-great part of town. We stopped for a red light with no other cars around, and while I pored over this useless map, a slow, Southern voice came from behind us, “Y’all from outta town. Betcha scared.”

Now depending on where you’re from, you’re confused or laughing hysterically. In some cities that would have been a threat, or at least intended to make us uncomfortable. Savannah? He was just making an observation.

Yep, we had out- of-state plates. We couldn’t have looked more lost had we hung a banner over the car. And here this poor guy was, hanging out on a lonely, rainy afternoon, passing the time of day. He just made a polite observation -- and it was polite, we were just too Yankee to know it right away. And that’s what I love about Savannah, they put up with us despite ourselves.

FIVE
It's the year 2015 and your kids are getting ready to start college. What do you advise them to study?

Exactly and only what they want. Easy enough answer now that I don’t have children...

I hope that by the time they consider college, they would know by watching their parents that they should find something they enjoy and then worry about making money doing it.

Having done that, I would encourage a varied class schedule -- I’ll always be grateful that Mizzou (GO, TIGERS!) had us take those non-major classes. Granted, a forensic anthropology lecture almost pulled me away from journalism, but because of that and other off-the-wall (for a J-major) classes, I value ancient cultures; Medea, by Euripides; anthropology; and feminist history.

Those “fun- for-me” classes didn’t help my journalism GPA, but if you want to know which is the most horny primate, I have the textbook to tell you. (Hint: It isn’t humans. Not even close.)

SIX
What's something guys do all the time that they probably wouldn’t do if they had taken a course in women's studies.

There are too many to list, but here are my top picks:

Stop thinking that all feminists are man-hating, sexless or lesbian. Very few are.
Stop spreading their knees apart while sitting on public transportation (you crowd anyone sitting next to you, invade her space, make yourself dominant in a neutral situation... really, you’re not impressing anyone)
Stop calling women chick, doll, cutie, babe, honey ...
And most importantly, those mysterious men in power would stop subjecting little girls and grown women to hopeless ideals of beauty and unfulfilling futures.
Want a depressing weekend? Watch the Disney movies: Beautiful Belle must charm the evil beast into letting her father go. They marry.

Beautiful Jasmine must find a prince to marry. She finds Ali, who uses manipulation and trickery to fool the naive Jasmine into thinking he’s a prince. Upon discovering his deception (helped by male characters) she decides she loves him anyway. They marry.

Beautiful Arial lives under the sea. Her prince lives on land. She “falls in love” with a chance glance and makes a deal: she’ll lose her voice, her means of communication, to win the man. Of course, they marry.

Even Nala, a perfectly capable lion as a cub, is rescued by The Lion King. Don’t worry, Disney. Little girls and women got the point: Shut up, look pretty and marry. Too damn bad they don’t make movies about what happens when she uses her brain instead of her body, as real women in the real world do, or the joys in life after courtship.

SEVEN
Describe something about Peoria that doesn't seem so bad after three shots of tequila.

Pass the salt and lime, I’m thinking...

THE BIG INDEX...
Who they are, what they do, how they think. Go there now.

A TO Z ARCHIVE...

Everybody here, with quickie bios. Go there now.

Return to the main Seven Questions page
See the original Newsies 7Q project

Contact info@sevenquestions.com
Copyright 1999-2002, Thomas L. Mangan



Seven answers on 7Q (also known as the FAQs of life.)	Interviewed by Tom Mangan Mary Cooley-Jones, sat next to me at my last job (and suffered my halting attempts to be her "mentor" without reaching down my throat and ripping my lungs out, which is what she really wanted to do.) She designs pages and edits copy at the Peoria Journal Star	AUTHORS Michael Fuchs Elizabeth Hilts Paul Riddell Gary Rivlin Jim Motavalli Barbara Shafferman Jules Siegel Keith Snyder ARTISTS/POETS/ PHILOSOPHERS Jon C. Allen Will Baker Mike Leung Jon Sarkin COOL SITE KEEPERS Mike Cash Scott O'Neal Colf Godfrey Daniels Cliff Davis, DDS Tammy Hocking Wes Modes Frank Rogan DIARISTS Ralph Becker J. D. Bruns Linda DeVault Mike Reed Moira Richardson Jessamyn West FILMMAKERS Ben Kufrin Dean Mermell JOURNALISTS Bernie Mary Cooley-Jones Lindsay Crysler Jamie Dupree M.O.A.T.M.A.I. David Moll Robert Niles John Orr Steven Ovadia Pierce Presley Mack Reed Rip Rense Curtis Ross Neal Ross John Scalzi Catherine Seipp David Sheets Dwight Silverman Matt Welch MOVIE MAVENS MaryAnn Johanson Brian Koller HUMORISTS Debbie Farmer Mike Jasper Madeleine Begun Kane Patrick Keller Bob Sassone Valerie Sprague Ken Swarmer Ian Wolff SOLDIERS Maj. Jon Anderson, USAF TEACHERS John Warner TECHIES Chris Adamson Mike Gunderloy Michael Ivey Greg Knauss Floyd Maxwell Ellen McDonough Mike Pingleton Wayne Thume John Worth TEENS Gary Baum Marty Beckerman UNDECLARED Bev Gibbs Beth Reid WEBLOGGERS Jason Kottke Jish Mukerji



ONE	At what point while tagging along with your hubby on his assistant football coaching duties did you discover you were starting to enjoy it? I’ve loved football since I was 12 -- years before I met whatshisname. Something about hitting without hurting appealed to me. I realized at his first game that it is the one time I can really watch Bob work. You can talk about jobs and co-workers until you’re blue in the face, but I really get to watch -- how many spouses can say that? The cool part is you see real improvement during the course of a season, especially at the freshman level. You actually watch this group of strangers come together: the starters, the injured, the water kid and the coaches all merge into this one team. Yes, I am aware of how hokey that reads. Don’t believe me? Go support your local high school freshman football team for a season and see for yourself. Most games are free, but bring your own rain gear. And besides all that -- It’s fun being married to a coach. I get all the juicy information -- like who is busting his butt in practice but still runs scared during the games, why kids’ positions really are switched and why the head coach gets so pissed during a good play. (Usually because of some bonehead move a kid did that could have hurt someone.)



TWO	What should any visitor to St. Louis avoid at all cost? If you take 270 you can circle around the whole thing. That's what I recommend, having seen everything way too many times. But if you get sucked in, go to the Magic House, and don’t skip the slide.



THREE	Tell us about your encounter with Clint Eastwood. I secretly thought actors who played intimidating characters were really warm, fuzzy teddy bears at heart. Very tall, very gruff, Mr. Eastwood SIR(!) isn’t, as I found out on the set (OK, street) of “Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil.” ME: Um, do you have a minute? HIM (with that cold stare): What for! But now I have Clint Eastwood’s autograph on floral bunny stationery. And if you look very closely at the opening scenes, you could see where I would have been had they not cut my scene. Bastards. (For the record, Eastwood uses the same sound guys for every movie, and they think he’s a swell director. Willie and whatshisname were very nice to us pesky extras, and we all had a great time. But I’m now scared of The Big Guy.)



FOUR	What was it about Savannah that sticks in your memory and makes you want to go back? That’s easy: Our first encounter with a real, live Savannahian. We drove into the city with no more than a map, a quarter-tank of gas and a vague idea that perhaps we should find the visitors' center for help in locating an apartment. Well, we made a wrong turn on that drizzly day into a not-so-great part of town. We stopped for a red light with no other cars around, and while I pored over this useless map, a slow, Southern voice came from behind us, “Y’all from outta town. Betcha scared.” Now depending on where you’re from, you’re confused or laughing hysterically. In some cities that would have been a threat, or at least intended to make us uncomfortable. Savannah? He was just making an observation. Yep, we had out- of-state plates. We couldn’t have looked more lost had we hung a banner over the car. And here this poor guy was, hanging out on a lonely, rainy afternoon, passing the time of day. He just made a polite observation -- and it was polite, we were just too Yankee to know it right away. And that’s what I love about Savannah, they put up with us despite ourselves.



FIVE	It's the year 2015 and your kids are getting ready to start college. What do you advise them to study? Exactly and only what they want. Easy enough answer now that I don’t have children... I hope that by the time they consider college, they would know by watching their parents that they should find something they enjoy and then worry about making money doing it. Having done that, I would encourage a varied class schedule -- I’ll always be grateful that Mizzou (GO, TIGERS!) had us take those non-major classes. Granted, a forensic anthropology lecture almost pulled me away from journalism, but because of that and other off-the-wall (for a J-major) classes, I value ancient cultures; Medea, by Euripides; anthropology; and feminist history. Those “fun- for-me” classes didn’t help my journalism GPA, but if you want to know which is the most horny primate, I have the textbook to tell you. (Hint: It isn’t humans. Not even close.)



SIX	What's something guys do all the time that they probably wouldn’t do if they had taken a course in women's studies. There are too many to list, but here are my top picks: Stop thinking that all feminists are man-hating, sexless or lesbian. Very few are. Stop spreading their knees apart while sitting on public transportation (you crowd anyone sitting next to you, invade her space, make yourself dominant in a neutral situation... really, you’re not impressing anyone) Stop calling women chick, doll, cutie, babe, honey ... And most importantly, those mysterious men in power would stop subjecting little girls and grown women to hopeless ideals of beauty and unfulfilling futures. Want a depressing weekend? Watch the Disney movies: Beautiful Belle must charm the evil beast into letting her father go. They marry. Beautiful Jasmine must find a prince to marry. She finds Ali, who uses manipulation and trickery to fool the naive Jasmine into thinking he’s a prince. Upon discovering his deception (helped by male characters) she decides she loves him anyway. They marry. Beautiful Arial lives under the sea. Her prince lives on land. She “falls in love” with a chance glance and makes a deal: she’ll lose her voice, her means of communication, to win the man. Of course, they marry. Even Nala, a perfectly capable lion as a cub, is rescued by The Lion King. Don’t worry, Disney. Little girls and women got the point: Shut up, look pretty and marry. Too damn bad they don’t make movies about what happens when she uses her brain instead of her body, as real women in the real world do, or the joys in life after courtship.



SEVEN	Describe something about Peoria that doesn't seem so bad after three shots of tequila. Pass the salt and lime, I’m thinking...


	THE BIG INDEX... Who they are, what they do, how they think. Go there now. A TO Z ARCHIVE... Everybody here, with quickie bios. Go there now. Return to the main Seven Questions page See the original Newsies 7Q project Contact info@sevenquestions.com Copyright 1999-2002, Thomas L. Mangan