Interviewed by Tom Mangan

J. D. Bruns, diarist, near-sex-experience webmaster, government contractor.

His sites are ratbastard.org and almost.org

The first posting at almost.org seemed a metaphor for the site itself -- gets us all warmed up, then deprives us of the money shot. To me there's nothing on earth worse than that feeling, so I'm wondering, what were you thinking in building a site that's apt to leave its visitors as frustrated as its contributors?

Heh. Sounds like you've had a few near-sex experiences yourself. But then again, who hasn't? Sexual frustration is a basic fact of human existance, whether you're a porn star or a nun. Everybody experiences it, and anybody can relate to it. In a good near-sex story, sexual frustration is mere window-dressing.

It's part of the story, but it should never be the whole story. There's got to be something deeper going on: a larger lesson to be learned; a greater battle to be won.

My two favorite tales of near-sex experiences are: "The Remains of the Day" by Kazuo Ishiguru, and "The Last Temptation of Christ" by Nikos Kazantzakis.

I could talk for days about why these two stories are so perfect for our genre. But I'll confine my remarks to this: If you came away from either story feeling nothing but sexual frustration, you really missed the point.

OK, so give us an idea how a germ of an idea grew into the site we see now.

Originally, the idea was Ben Brown's (creator of flabjab.com, teethmag.com, benbrown.com, and deepleap.com.)

Ben told me his idea at a party last summer. He'd been thinking about building almost.org for two years, he just never found the time.

I asked his permission to take the idea and run with it. He said yes. With an idea as great as that, I knew I had a lot to live up to. If the stories and designs were anything less than first-rate, it would be on my head.

In terms of the design and content, I wanted everything to be as clean and professional as possible. I wanted to create an immediate distinction between almost.org and the countless other sex sites on the web. With the exception of Nerve.com and Colors (www.kia.net/colors) most of the other so-called "erotica" websites are pretty tawdry.

I want this to be D.H. Lawrence, not Jackie Collins.

How are you doing at attracting stories?

That's the one thing I worry about most. I'm in the un-enviable position of having had a successful first issue. Of course, most webzines only last one issue. So there's a lot riding on our sophomore effort.

I already have our second story picked out. I'm currently going through the editing process with that one. It should hit the streets in two weeks.

Other than that, I've received probably eight stories in the last week. Some of them weren't half bad. Of course, there were a few submissions that sounded like this:

"I was at a kegger last Friday night and this one girl from Smegma Pi was riding my jock all night, and when we got back to my room, she wouldn't even gimme a handjob, so I kicked her out, turned on Skin-emax, and jerked off to that. The End."

Somewhere you said the stuff would be adult oriented, possibly erotic, but never vulgar. Do you have any guidelines stronger than "I know vulgar when I see it"?

The exact wording was:

"Please remember there is a difference between mature content and vulgar content. That's not to say we frown on vulgar content. But there is a difference."

Vulgarity is fine by me. Just because a story is vulgar doesn't mean it can't have literary merit.

The English Canon is loaded with vulgarity. Ever read the Canterbury Tales? The Miller's Tale is one of the filthiest things I've ever read.

Let's change gears: You mentioned at your site that you're freelancing now. Can you share a few of the highs, lows and perhaps a cautionary tale for anyone thinking of going the same route?

At first, I started doing freelance web design to help save for a downpayment on my house. But now the freelance thing is going so well, I might actually quit my cushy government contract and do the freelance thing full time.

I'd love to be able to work from home in my pajamas, set my own hours, take four-hour lunches, never have to keep a time sheet, or fill out a status report, etc.

Why's it so important to put words on the Web? It's not like it's the most friendly medium to the written word and you've certainly got the tech/design skills to do other stuff.

I've always been passionate about the web. And while it presents certain challenges, I think it's a great medium for the written word (unless you're trying to make a buck.)

The Internet is the most democratizing invention of the 20th century. I hate to see the Web exploited for the sake of a greasy buck. 1999 was a bad year for online independent publishing -- a lot of the best e-zines fizzled out and died, and weblogs started popping up like zits. Nobody seems to have the energy or ambition to make an actual SITE anymore.

I'm out to prove that the art of personal narrative ain't dead.

What's the best argument for living in the beltway, and the best for staying away?

Washington, DC, is undergoing a total renaissance. Young professionals are moving back into the city in droves, buying up houses that have stood derelict since the King Riots of '68.

DC is one of the hottest real estate markets in the nation. It's a totally different city than it was 10 years ago, and it's only getting better. That's one of the reasons why I'm working so hard on buying a house in the District. I want my piece of the pie.

The only thing that really puts my panties in a bunch is the radio stations. The potholes, the crime, the drugs, the traffic or the pollution -- all these things I can deal with. But there's not one decent radio station in the city (unless you happen to enjoy Christina Aguilera and Hanson.)

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